The Impact of Change

I’ve often found myself thinking about how different my life would be if certain things had gone differently. It makes me wonder how much each moment has actually shaped who I am. During my meeting with Sahar, this same topic came up: the idea that our experiences and opportunities shape us into the people we become. 

Sahar is a principal at the Institute for English Learning, but she never could have imagined that’s where she would be today. Growing up, Sahar was the youngest daughter in a family with six children. All of her older siblings were boys, and in a typical Afghan family that would have meant she would receive very little attention or support. In contrast, however, Sahar describes her family as being “supportive from the moment she was born.” A bright girl, she attended school and got good grades throughout elementary. In addition, her father hired a private tutor from a nearby university to teach her and her siblings other skills, such as languages. Sahar described these opportunities as ones that began to define her.

In Sahar’s ninth grade year, her life changed drastically. Afghanistan had internal conflicts, making the area around her home unsafe. Her family immigrated to Pakistan to escape the conflict, living there for about a year. She continued her education in Pakistan, and was also able to experiment with different skills taught in Pakistani schools. The opportunity to learn new things, as well as the chance to see another culture, widened her view of the world and motivated her to find more opportunities to broaden her horizons.

After returning home from Pakistan during tenth grade, life returned to normal for Sahar. For two years she lived happily with her family, continuing her secondary education and planning for university. However, in 1996, her life was again turned upside down. The Taliban took over Afghanistan for the first time, restricting female education and rights. For Sahar, this meant that she was unable to finish her twelfth year of school. She explained, however, that she got the chance to receive her diploma anyway. “The Taliban made an exception for students in the twelfth grade, allowing us to take our final exams early so that we could graduate. For me, this meant that I took eight exams in the span of two days.” Her early preparation for university paid off, and she passed her exams with high marks. But at the time,  that meant very little, as women were no longer allowed to attend university. Rather than continue her education, Sahar and her family immigrated once again to Pakistan.

Living as refugees in Pakistan wasn’t easy for any of Sahar’s family. They had to work very hard in order to support themselves. But despite their difficulties, Sahar’s family continued to look out for her. In this case, it was her brothers who made all the difference. All of them were working, and they combined their extra earnings to purchase Sahar a computer. In my world, I’ve grown up around technology, so a computer wouldn’t make a large impact on my life. But for Sahar, it propelled her on an entirely new track. First, owning a computer required her to learn computer skills, an ability that few people had in Pakistan or Afghanistan. Second, her computer allowed her to learn the English language. These two changes opened up doors that Sahar didn’t even know existed, and for the next four years in Pakistan she focused on improving her skills and educating herself through whatever means possible. She said: “It was a slow process, but step by step I learned a lot.”

After the Taliban lost control of Afghanistan in 2001, Sahar’s family returned to their homeland. Upon arrival, the first decision Sahar made was to apply for university. She took the entrance exams, and was admitted as a student. She received her BA in social sciences, and got accepted as an intern for Afghan Civil Services, a program dedicated to the development of Afghan society. She interned for just six months before being given a position with the program. As an employee, Sahar provided educational opportunities throughout Afghanistan. The opportunities she had as a young girl were so impactful that she wanted to continue spreading education throughout her country. She worked in eight provinces, creating programs and finding donors to fund projects. If you had happened upon Sahar during these years of her life, she would have told you that she had found her calling. And in many ways, she would have been telling the truth. But her future wasn’t finished unfolding.

In August of 2021, after Sahar had been with the Afghan Civil Services for many years, the Taliban retook control of Afghanistan. Once again, they restricted female education and job opportunities. As a result, Sahar lost her job.

For much of her life, Sahar had found her purpose through her work. She was up before four in the morning to begin her tasks, and generally didn’t return home until seven or eight at night. Even during her off days, she worked on her Master’s degree to further her education. But when the Taliban came, all of this ended abruptly. 

“I was depressed.” This was the first description Sahar gave me about the months after the Taliban takeover. “I felt I had no purpose, everything had been taken from me.” She said, “I was no longer allowed to travel, to continue my programs, or to earn a salary. I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing.” And for months, her life consisted only of the simple daily tasks required to stay alive. It likely would have continued as such for much longer, if it weren’t for Sahar’s neighbor. 

In a lucky turn of events, Sahar’S neighbor told her about an online school she had been attending. It was called the Institute for English Learning, and at the time it had only two classes available; both of which taught English. Sensing a new opportunity, Sahar decided to enroll in one of the classes. She had a strong knowledge of English, but had no way of keeping it up until she discovered IEL. In a short time, her class with IEL transformed her life. She said: “I was brought out of my depression. Learning gave me something to do, and allowed me to see people again. It was exactly what I needed.” 

In many schools, Sahar’s story probably would’ve dwindled out at about this point with a simple happy ever after. She was no longer depressed, she was learning again, and all was well. However, this was only the beginning for Sahar. 

Sahar had only been with IEL for a few weeks when she received a call from an unknown number in the United States. “I had no idea who it was,” she said. “I’d never gotten a call from the US before.” She picked up the phone, and a voice on the other side of the line introduced herself as Elke Damesyn, founder of IEL. Elke had noticed Sahar’S proficiency in English, and offered her a position as a teacher with the school. Sahar accepted, and a new chapter of her life began.

During Sahar’S first few years at IEL, the program slowly expanded from having two classes to having eight. Sahar worked first as an assistant, then as a teacher, and is now a principal, overseeing more than seventy-five classes. She explained, “Some of the classes I see are in Afghanistan itself, but we also support Afghan refugees in Sacramento and Elk Grove. Seeing each of the students reminds me every day how lucky I am to be able to give them the opportunities they deserve.” 

Life with IEL isn’t always easy, of course. Sahar wakes up at four in the morning every day to begin her responsibilities, and she says, “Some of our students are up at midnight or three AM to attend classes.” However this dedication is what makes her job so special. “I’ve always thought of IEL as not a school, but a family,” Sahar said. “The dedication and self-sacrifice I see every day from both students and teachers give me so much hope for the future.” 

Just as Sahar’s future wasn’t finished when she lost her job, it isn’t finished now. She’s incredibly grateful for that. She says, “I wouldn’t rather be anywhere but where I am right now. And it excites me so much that right now is always changing.” 

Everyone experiences a different version of the present, so it’s up to us to use our unique opportunities to create the lives that we want for ourselves. No matter how many obstacles we may encounter, there are always opportunities. We owe it to ourselves to find them.